The Colonel Gets the Axe

Okay, maybe just figuratively, but it was a near thing. The Colonel decided she was a gender-bending chicken and while that's all well and good, the rooster-like behaviors and aggressiveness were definitely not. It was cute when the Colonel got up in our faces when we went into the pen, it was even cute how she zipped around to always be in front of us (and by extension the camera, photos below). It was not cute when she began crowing in the morning and whenever we went outside. Crowing? Yeah, crowing. At the very least it was some awful chicken equivalent that made us want to put her out of our misery. Keep in mind, these are secret chickens. Secret chickens cannot be crowing. If she had not been genetically guaranteed to be female and was not laying eggs, I would have questioned her sex.

When we could take it no longer, our not-so-secret transgendered chicken went to live on a nice farm. No, really! Most generously, Aunt Deb allowed us to trade the Colonel for one of her chickens. (Thanks again, Aunt Deb!) As soon as the Colonel hit the ground at Aunt Deb's she immediately assumed rooster posture and began jumping on all the other chickens' backs, ripping out their feathers, and making a general pest of herself. The Colonel, I'm afraid, is a nasty, domineering bitch. Now at least, she is a nasty, domineering bitch somewhere else. In her place we took home Princess, who may be the ugliest chicken in creation, but is a sweet, gentle, and quiet chicken that lays the biggest eggs I've ever seen (pictures to follow eventually). And so, Colonel, so long and good riddance.